ok, ok, i need to pause.

so i've been in a sour mode the past two or three days. {could be womanly issues? or possible my new medicine} but i'd been hating the fact that it's summer and taking it for granted. that's needs to stop. i've been locking myself inside my bedroom and filling my time with who knows what. i've read a few books, and scrapbooked quite a few pictures {i'm almost to jr year of college!} but i've been missing out on SUMMER. i've been wishing it away...and i think i've been doing this all summer. i've been wishing it was august since the first week of may. so not healthy. so today i'm trying to figure out what i've been missing out on. i've been sitting out on the deck, reading God's word, drinking iced coffee and complaining to Him about how i feel. i'm mostly frustrated. cause i feel like i'm wasting my time away, and i'm not doing anything worth while. but what exactly would that be?? who the heck knows! cause i sure don't. but i need to stop filling like my life isn't truly starting. easier said than done. i need to stop wishing i was someplace else. there's a reason i'm here...in nky and not where i long to be...that is lexington. and i need to embrace it. i need to LIVE. live for Christ here on independence station road. there has to be some reason why my summer vacation has found me here, spending my lazy days in independence and others floating up and down the ohio river as a waitress and not hugging and playing with orphan children in india or africa. it's going to be a long and cold winter and i need to enjoy every minute of summer and lean on God and have him point me on my path.