Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Crazy, Calvary Love

so i read two books in the past 3 days. one of which was uber short...but it made me realize how unloving i really am. i need to LOVE more and really love. i need to love like Jesus was "If" by Amy Carmichael (who ps. must have been the most loving, kind, and godly woman. i would love to become part of the woman she was, i can't image her raising her voice but only loving--kind of like mrs dugger.) but in the book it listed many if's.....if i do this/act like this/think like this then i must not know of Calvary's Love. and many things i was like OUCH! when i read it. i would think "ah, i do that....unfortunately". I stared many of the ones i felt like i should work on and come back and look's a good one...

I myself dominate myself,
if my thoughts revolve around myself,
if i am so occupied with myself i rarely have "a heart at leisure from itself,"
then I know nothing of Calvary love.
-Amy Carmichael

Then last night i stated Crazy Love, and finished it tonight. i did enjoy the book...i would bet i finished it faster than mr. chan would have liked, but that's what i do sometimes. it was a great reminder of some of the things i know but often times forget. it was good fuel for my fire and reminder of my passion. sometimes i catch myself thinking how good and nobel and God fearing i surely am, but really i suck at it. there's so much more i could do to honor my King and share love with others. It's good for me to be put back in my place....

"O God, I have tasted They goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need for further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, so that I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, 'Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away.' Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long."
-A.W. Tozer

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