Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Crazy, Calvary Love

so i read two books in the past 3 days. one of which was uber short...but it made me realize how unloving i really am. i need to LOVE more and really love. i need to love like Jesus was "If" by Amy Carmichael (who ps. must have been the most loving, kind, and godly woman. i would love to become part of the woman she was, i can't image her raising her voice but only loving--kind of like mrs dugger.) but in the book it listed many if's.....if i do this/act like this/think like this then i must not know of Calvary's Love. and many things i was like OUCH! when i read it. i would think "ah, i do that....unfortunately". I stared many of the ones i felt like i should work on and come back and look's a good one...

I myself dominate myself,
if my thoughts revolve around myself,
if i am so occupied with myself i rarely have "a heart at leisure from itself,"
then I know nothing of Calvary love.
-Amy Carmichael

Then last night i stated Crazy Love, and finished it tonight. i did enjoy the book...i would bet i finished it faster than mr. chan would have liked, but that's what i do sometimes. it was a great reminder of some of the things i know but often times forget. it was good fuel for my fire and reminder of my passion. sometimes i catch myself thinking how good and nobel and God fearing i surely am, but really i suck at it. there's so much more i could do to honor my King and share love with others. It's good for me to be put back in my place....

"O God, I have tasted They goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need for further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, so that I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, 'Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away.' Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long."
-A.W. Tozer

Sunday, December 27, 2009

joyeuex noel

well it's christmas break. i've been home for just over a week of my 3 and a half break from classes. it feels like longer though. it was quite the eventful week!
1.)had to deal with stuff identify theft from this summer...again.
2.)my dog got it's rabies shot...and had an allergic reaction, vomiting included, and so had to be taken back to the vet for more shots
3.)i rear-ended a car for my first accident ever
4.)some personal drama
5.)melt down while trying to organize my sister and i's room and being frustrated with it all

and THAT was all within the first half of the week...

but christmas 2009 has come and gone. and it was quite nice. i unfortunately haven't gotten much reading, jewelry making, or scrapbooking done :( i'll just have to fit that in the semester, somehow. thanks to christmas though my music collection has be added to. gotta love new music. except i have to get a new ipod soon...mines full!! it's only 30g..... i started looking into refurbished ones at least.

i did get to go watch my brother wrestle for the first time! and he won! yippie! and my goal was that he would know when i was cheering for him...and it was a success. only because i was using his whole name, and he's knows i'm the only one who calls him that.

i have also played too many games of Bubble Shooter to mention...i should be cut off. but it's so easy to just play while you're doing other thing...addicting that is!!

soon i will be ATL bound and headed to Passion 2010!! heck yes!! i'm pretty excited about that...i really wanted to go this summer when i found out that they were having another one and then things sort of fell through and i didn't think it was going to happen...but then i found some people to go with and decided to go about a month ago! and i'm so looking forward to it...i don't know what to expect completely but i think God is going to do big things. and i'm excited to be with two of my girls of course :)

Proverbs 4:23
"Watch over your heart with all diligence,
For from it flow the springs of life."