Monday, May 25, 2009

tiger lillie

i've come to the time in my life where my friends are starting to get married. it's kind of freaky weird. it sounds so grown-up. i doubt i'll ever truly "grow up" though. but as you can imanige marriage is something my self and my friends spend a fair share of time thinking about and talking about. when i was younger and didn't know Jesus i use to think about it in worldly terms and worldly love. how different have my views changed now that i've place God in the center of it all. one thing i try to figure out is what does a Godly romantic realationship look like? and what is God's best for marriage? i've read books, listened to sermons, looked into scripture, and prayed about the very subject--i mean i want to get it figured out before the day, sometime in the future, when i'll need to use the knowldge! i want it done right; even if it doesn't lead to marriage. but the world screams in the background of what it should be like. and what's even more important is what is my role, as a Godly women, in it all? the world tells up to be an "independent women", strong, and able to put on our big girl pants. sometimes i've seen girls stick up their noses when a guy comes and picks up our trash for us at some sort of function--but why? why do we, or i should say I, turn down a guys help to get something high while i'm struggling to balance while standing on a chair, or have my arms overloaded with some heavy stuff? i mean i can do this! i'm women hear me roar!! what are we trying to prove? that we don't long for a knight on a white horse to romance us and take care of us?? ha. who are we trying to kid? maybe ourselves. maybe the world is getting to us and telling us how we should be. but God knows best, and he's letting me in on the secret little by little.

i just finished a book and there was a part in it that captured my heart and it relates directly to this...the boyfriend figure in the book just got upset at his girlfriend because she let herself out of his car when he wanted to get her door for her, and he told her "not because you can't, but because you shouldn't have to." how perfect. my heart swells with the thought that there are Godly men out there like this, somewhere. i need to remind myself this when a guy offers his help, it's not that he doesn't think i can, but he just wants to treat me like a lady, a radiant lilly. he's treating me like the lady i long to be and i should let him. and i don't even really mean romanticly [even though my future husband should definately treat me like that!] but just in everyday relationships and God centered community.

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